


we'll be a fine line, we'll be alright.

by 126TARLOS



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Best Friends, Comfort/Angst, Drugs, Emotional Hurt, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love Confessions, M/M, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:20:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22404016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/126TARLOS/pseuds/126TARLOS
Summary: When T.K gets his heart broken, he falls back into a spiral of his old habits.We follow him through the hurt, the healing and finding himself again; always with his dad's and bestfriend's help.What happens when he meets a charming man that makes him want to love again, and he isn't ready to take and accept it all.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)/TK Strand, Owen Strand & TK Strand, TK Strand/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 48





	we'll be a fine line, we'll be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya,  
> here my first tarlos fic ever.  
> I hope you'll enjoy reading it as much as i loved writing it. 
> 
> love, s.  
> 

T.K had decided to ask his boyfriend to marry him; they had been together for around a year so it was worth the shot. He had planned a whole thing; dinner in the best new york restaurant, flower and all; he was happy. He truly thought alex would say yes so when he went that night and asked alex said no, imagine the shock it was for him to find out that alex was in love with someone else.  
At first that didn’t hurt much, he just went home and cried for a while. But after an hour he just couldn’t cry anymore, he couldn’t feel like that anymore: worthless and useless, unlovable. So he went out, went into the first bar he found and drink a few drinks, he just wanted the hurt to stop. He remembers walking down the streets and seeing that man in the corner “probably a dealer” he thought before walking up to him. Everything went quite fast after that, he come home and took the pills lot of the them. He just couldn’t do it anymore; everything was just too much. It felt so good when it stopped, the thrill you get when it hits you. And then it blacked out, nothing but darkness; lost and empty.  
When T.K woke up the first thing he felt was dizziness, it hurt everywhere so hard the only thing he could do was cry. Then he saw his sad and he just started crying harder, repeating how sorry he was. He couldn’t believe he had just done that again, he couldn’t believe he did that to his dad, again. Everything was just too much, too soon.

Two hours passed before he heard from buck, he knew it would happen but that was something else when buck knocked on his door, crying and jumping on tk to hold me really hard. The only thing buck could properly say was “why?” and tk didn’t really had an answer to those questions.... Why did he fall back into his old habits? Why did i tried to kill myself? Why? He didn’t know but he knew it wasn’t his brightest idea at the moment.  
“I’m okay now Buck, it’s okay” he said, while holding Buck and tears forming in his eyes.  
“Is it though? Is it really, T?” Buck said with hiccups “You tried to kill yourself T.K! I thought you’d stop after last time so why?”  
“I - I promise I stopped, I just...” T.K struggled to say “He is in love with somebody else, he...”  
“I’m sorry, T” he said looking directly at T.K “just promised me you will never do that again.”  
“I won’t, I promise Ev” he said looking directly into Buck’s eye. 

Buck and T.K story was quite complicated to understand, they have known each other for 5 years now, they started off as boyfriends, but realised they were way better as friends than anything else. Since then they’ve been inseparable, always doing everything together: work, going out, living together even. They were the type of friends that you could rely on at any given moment, they trusted each others on everything and there was no secrets between them. Owen’s was quite fond of Buck, and T.K knows he wished they had stayed together somehow, cause no one was quite making T.K as happy as Buck does. They were each other’s rocks and anchors, and they never stopped being flirty with each others. Even T.K’s, now ex, boyfriend there was always some kind of competition between them cause Alex was jealous of the relationship they had together. So yeah, their friendship was quite complicated for the outsiders, you never really know if they’re friends or more. But they don’t want to change that. So Buck knows T.K isn’t lying when he says he promises, but T.K also knows that Buck will help him in keeping his promise anyways; ‘cause that’s what they do.

———————

The next day, when T.K arrives at his dad’s; he knows he is gonna have to talk about it, since they didn’t yesterday, and he really doesn’t want to. He feels so bad and ashamed to have put his dad through that, once again. He just wished he could something and undo the thing he did last night, he really wish he could. But he can’t.  
“Hi dad” he says kind of shyly as he walks up to Owen.  
“Hey, T. Are you feeling better?” Owen says looking up at T.K. “Also, sit. I have some news”  
“I’m fine dad, it’s okay.” T.K answered. “Aren’t you going to say anything about….yesterday?”  
“You already know what I think, T. And you also know I will be making you go to AA and go this a therapist, I don’t want to make it worst on you, I know you already feel bad enough and I just want you to be happy now, alright?” T.K looks at his dad, with tears in his eyes, he is so thankful for him, honestly.  
“Buck told you, didn’t he?” T.K asked, already knowing the answer, before saying “So what’s the news?”  
“We are going out of town” Owen says, smiling. “And not for a vacation, we both need a change”  
T.K should agree, they need change, especially after everything that happened, but the this city was his life and Buck was here. He couldn’t imagine leaving Buck now, not after everything. He needed Buck more than anything, he needs Buck with him.  
“T.K breathe, slow breathing.” Owen says, “I know what you’re thinking, Buck’s coming with us, that was the deal for me to accept their offer.” Those words started to help T.K calmed down, and he started breathing normally again. 

————————

Two weeks after everything happened, they are finally in Austin. T.K is being his bitchy and sassy self and annoying his dad saying this sucks, he actually quite like it though. In the last week, they redid the whole station and hired new firefighter, and to be honest T.K loves them all, they’re so nice and sassy and funny and they make his thoughts stop at times; which is honestly a huge help. Unfortunately, T.K and Buck had to live with Owen for the time being, as Owen wants to have an eye on T.K while he recovers from everything that happened back in New York. Today was their first actual day back on the truck and the whole crew was excited. The call went amazingly, and they all went out to grab a drink afterwards. That’s when T.K first meet that really hot police officer; Carlos. They didn’t really chat, but they worked together on the scene earlier and there was already something sparkling between them - not that T.K would ever admit it - so when Carlos comes up to him after the crew went on dancing; and ask T.K to do dance, T.K really cannot say no. He probably should have, he knew he wasn’t ready for anything serious, and he knew he wasn’t ready to even look at someone else yet. But there was something so intriguing and captivating about that man, that whenever he talked, T.K was just drowned into it.  
As the night went on, everyone was talking between each other, T.K really felt at home with these people, he actually was really glad he was here now. So when Owen came up to him and asked how he felt he said just that.  
“I’m really glad we’re here dad, I have a feeling we are gonna be just okay here.” Owen slowly smile at his son, and said “Listen T.K…..” he cut himself and looked at T.K  
“Dad?” T.K said with a small soft voice, “Nothing, I just love you, T” his dad said, smiling softly. T.K was so lucky to have him and he really didn’t what he’d do without me.  
When everyone got tired they all left. Once back home T.K couldn’t stop thinking about this Carlos guy, but everytime he did think about him some Alex’s flashbacks comes back to him and he can’t stand that. So he just goes to Buck’s room, that’s their thing: when one of them feel bad and cannot sleep, go into the other’s bed and cuddle. Buck and his dad truly were his anchors, he knows that no matter happens he’ll always have them, and in those kind of moments he really cannot ask for better people to have around him. 

—————————

A couple of days after the bar evening, T.K found himself on his way to Carlos’ house. He doesn’t remember how it even happen, he just knows it did, and know here they were; kissing and touching. He wasn’t the type to have one night (well day here) stand or to have a friend with benefits but this felt so so good. He felt so wanted and cared for in that moment, he missed that. So he didn’t really care about his habits right now, he just want to enjoy this moment. Once they were done, a T.K was in a hurry to leave, having a shift at the station but Carlos was making small talks, he felt a sudden panic and he just went at the door at the same time as Carlos said “text me”.  
On his way to the station he felt so weird, he was both happy and kind of anxious. What if Carlos thought this was something, what if— Fuck he wasn’t ready for any of this right now. He couldn’t start something right now, he needed to focus on himself after everything that happened… he really couldn’t do anything else than that.  
“Hey there, can you slow your breath.” that was Buck talking, a T.K hadn’t realised he had arrived at the station and he just had a panic attack in front of everyone fuck. “Yeah just like this, T. You’re doing great, T. Are you alright bud?” Buck softly said, like he used to after five years of friendship.  
“I’m fine, it’s just I— I had sex with Carlos and it was great but I just— I scared myself. Don’t worry it’s fine” Buck didn’t seem convinced though, he knew there was more but he let it slide cause he knew that if T.K wants to talk; he will.  
“Alright, T. Let’s go save people!” T.K looks at Buck and smile, he knows Buck will probably try to know more later, but he was thankful for him to leave it for now. 

After his shift, T.K goes home. He is having a movie night with his dad and Buck when he receives a text from Carlos.  
— Want to come over?  
Before answering Carlos, he looks at his dad, and says “I’m going out, going to see Carlos.” Owen looks at him, suspicious. “Sure, you sleeping at his?” T.K doesn’t really know what to say, he doesn’t have any idea. “Um, Probably yeah.” he then looks at Buck who gives him a tiny smile, but T.K can see and sense he is worried; more than he’ll let know. “Okay, don’t be late at work tomorrow.” On that note, T.K leaves his house, he doesn’t know why Carlos want him to come over, but he has an idea of what he wants to do once he is there. So when he arrives and Carlos opens the door and kind of push him away after a few seconds of kissing; he is really taken aback, before he understands.  
“Um, so I kind of made us some meal…? Is that okay?” Carlos says, smiling. T.K honestly doesn’t what to say, he feels uncomfortable and honestly super weird. But he can’t really say no to Carlos when he is already leading him to the table, so he just follows.  
“I know it looks like a lot of work, don’t worry it wasn’t.” Well he sure hopes so, cause everything just feel too much already, the more Carlos talks about the meal he prepared the more T.K feels uncomfortable, and if he didn’t like Carlos at least just a bit, he would have already left the house right now.  
“This, this feels like a whole thing” T.K says after Carlos is sat down in front of him.  
“You mean, dinner?” Carlos says, a bit taken aback. T.K feels bad, but he just he has to say it.  
“I just thought, we were. You know, clear about everything.” T.K says, and then takes a slow breathe before saying “I’m not looking for….this.”  
“Well, I’m sorry. But I don’t do /this/ a lot.” Carlos says, and if T.K wasn’t feeling super uncomfortable he would have laugh but he settles with saying “Clearly” with a small smile.  
Carlos then softly smile and says; “Well I don’t think it’s such a big ask to have an actual conversation before we hook up.” And that’s like, it, for T.K. They literally had sex five hours again, like maybe you should have thought about that before everything, and not after.  
“Look, I just got out of a relationship, I’m not looking to jump into another—” Carlos cut him off and says “It’s a meal, not a marriage proposal T.K”  
And that’s the moment T.K just can’t take it anymore, he can’t sit and have a chat with this man, and he can’t go through that again, and fuck he is just, he cannot. So he stands, and goes to leave. But Carlos tries to stop him.  
“Are you serious right now?”  
“Dude, you invited me over here after midnight. What do you want me to say?”  
“Yeah, after both our shifts.” Carlos softly and sadly says, and T.K kind of feels bad about it, cause damn he really put a lot of thoughts and considerations into that; and if he wasn’t so messed up and heartbroken he would have really enjoyed this, but he can’t right now. Not so soon after, he just can’t. And then he hears Carlos say “Why are you being so crazy” and for a second he really feels like explaining it to him; but how could he even understands, and he doesn’t even really know the guy he can’t just tell him his whole life story right now. So he turns around and says “Sorry, for the misunderstanding” and leaves. 

When he is out of the house, he starts to feel the panic getting to him. This whole thing was too much, it triggered something in him, everything just hurt around him, he needed to catch his breath, but he couldn’t seem to be able to. He felt the tears starting to fall from his eyes, his breath was starting to be even faster. He doesn’t register how he even does it and think of it but soon enough he finds himself surrounded by Buck and Owen, they both look worried and they both try to calm him down, but it doesn’t really work.  
“T, I need you to breathe, do just like me; listen to me.” he hears his dad say, and he tries to do it. It slowly starts to be able to breathe normally again, tears still falling down.  
“That’s it, bud. You’re doing fine.” he hears Buck says right next to his ear.  
After a while, T.K is finally capable of breathing normally without crying. And he tries to talk but his dad cut him off “T.K, what happened?” And T.K feels so bad, he just, everything was too much, and everything he reminded him of that night. It just wish things didn’t affect him that much anymore. “He, he cooked a whole meal. And, and it was fine at first. But— he just— he started saying things and he said this wasn’t a marriage proposal after I said it was too much. And it, it was—” T.K tries to say, and Buck interrupts him “It’s fine T.K we understand, it’s okay.”  
“Look, T.K I understand how you must have felt, and I understand your reaction, it’s totally valid. But does Carlos knows about Alex?” T.K looks at his dad, and says “No, I haven’t told him, I wanted to when he asked but I, I couldn’t.”  
“Hey, it’s fine, T. You don’t have to tell him yet, if you’re not ready. But you’ll have to give him an explanation sooner or later…” Buck says trying to reassure T.K.  
“I know, but I couldn’t right now, I don’t if I’ll be able to talk about it with anyone other than you two right now. I hope he understands but….” T.K says, tears still streaming down his face, they’ve slowed down but they’re still here.  
“You like him, don’t you?” he hears his dad say, and the only answer is yes, he does, definitely. But he can’t right now, he can’t have a relationship with someone and he can’t like someone that already makes him feel so many things when he isn’t ready for that at the moment.  
“Yeah, I do. But I can’t right now, it’s too soon, too much. And you both know, it’s not a good idea for me to jump into this right after everything.” he finally says. Buck and Owen look at each other, and they both get what they both mean. T.K isn’t ready yet, but they know Carlos is gonna be his safe place, and in their opinions, T.K shouldn’t push away Carlos. But they understand T.K’s point of view, and they know with time, T.K will open up and finally be happy again. He just needs time. Who wouldn’t need time after everything that happened. 

But time heals everything, and only time will tell what is going to happen. So, if you have time on your side, everything will be okay. And thank god, T.K and Carlos both had time on their sides. 

————— to be continued —————


End file.
